So, yesterday was my follow up appointment with Dr. K. It was both good and bad. I'll start with the bad. I was dreading having to go back in that office. Dreading seeing all those pregnant ladies. Dreading seeing all the pregnancy posters and stuff in the office. And really dreading the exam. Being stripped down and in those stirrups for such a crappy reason this time. I wanted to go in and have jelly spread on my belly and see our little flowers doing their thing. But no. I didn't see that. And it sucked! I did however see the smiling pregnant ladies and the posters and stuff. They were everywhere. I sat in the lobby with tears streaming down my face, trying to cry as quietly as I could. I chose the seat closest to the door so when they called my name I could just quickly get up and disappear into the back and not have to make my way across the room full of baby bumps. I was called back and asked to get on the dreaded scales. Oh my! Talk about tears. How depressing! I told yall I'd be ticked if I got fat for nothing. Well, I got FAT for NOTHING! So the diet started RIGHT THEN! The nurse directed me to my room and instructed me to strip from the waist down and that the doc would be in shortly. I composed myself the best I could while sitting half naked on a table with a paper sheet across my lap. I tried telling myself that I wasn't really where I was. I wasn't there to see Dr. K but rather at the dentist office. Then I remember I didn't like the dentist office either. UGG! Dr. K was very kind. I cried when she walked in but she quickly calmed me down. We talked for a long time before she did the exam. I asked alot of questions but there weren't many answers. She couldn't tell me why it happened other than there are many reasons for a M/C. I asked if there were tests to be done if we decide to try again. She said she hated to answer that question because they don't usually do tests until after the 3rd M/C. I don't want a 3rd! I didn't want the 1st or 2nd one! We both agreed that we should go back and to see Dr. O at the RE's office. I asked if she thought if we should switch donors. She said it wouldn't hurt anything and since we have that option, to go for it. Look out swimmers! We may be on the hunt again! I asked about my snots. She said yes, it could have been pregnancy related but it should have been cleared up by now. She suggested Claratin and if that didn't work to see my PCP. I also had her check out a weird lump I've had for several months under my right arm pit. You can see it easily and it hurts when touched. Of course she didn't see or feel anything and it didn't hurt when she pushed around. She said what I was hoping she would...that it was probably just a swollen gland...like what you get in your neck when you're sick. I'm ok with that. I also asked how long we should wait if we decide to try again. I didn't know if since we had a d&c this time if we should wait longer than 1 cycle. Nope. No need to wait more than the one cycle. She did the dreaded exam and said everything was fine. She signed my medical leave papers for work and I was out the door.
The good news? I'm physically ok. She saw no physical reasons to keep us from trying again. My snots should hopefully get better. The lump disappeared. And my lovely wife was waiting for me in the parking lot when I came out. (She couldn't make the appt due to work.)
M and I talked last night and we've decided not to give up. We will try again. We really want to be moms to more than just a dog. Lord, please!
We're going to switch donors. We got online and checked things out last night. We were all set to go with our second choice from the first go round but found out that there's no swimmers left for that one. So, we did a little shopping and found one we liked. Hopefully it will be available when needed. I might call and put a hold on some.
I stopped by the drug store on the way home and picked up some Claratin. Took a pill last night and I think it MIGHT actually have helped a LITTLE. We'll see.
I called Dr. O this morning and we have a consultation appt for Jan 2.
The prenates are out of the drawer and back on the counter.
So, we might just be back on the TTC road again in 2008.