Welcome To Our Garden

Monday, December 10, 2007

We're back!

We're back from our time off. Back from hiding. Back from KY. Back to work. All much needed except the back to work part. I didn't miss that at all!

This time off has really been a HUGE help. I think I might actually have my head together a little bit now. Being in KY with my mom and dad helped tremendously. I miss them so much on a daily basis and with all that's been going on this mom and dad "fix" was great.

We left last Tuesday around noon and returned last night around 7 pm or so. It's an 8 hour drive so I had a lot of thinking time. I did alot of thinking. About alot of stuff. Even thought about yall. :o) And we did alot of singing. Of Christmas songs! (Merr - I thought of you alot. :o) You hear ALOT of songs in 8 hours)

I have a feeling this is going to turn into a long rambling post so get comfy.

First off, my bra has been tissue free for a week now. Thank GOD! What a horrible time that was. Ugg.

Now onto better things. We saw a little snow on the way and while in KY. Not as much as I hoping for but it worked. M and I spent most of Tuesday (Christmas Eve) at Wal-mart getting groceries for mom and home in the kitchen. We made fudge, carrot cake and a lemon bundt cake. That evening we played a very addictive game with mom and dad. If you like games and haven't seen this one yet. It's called LCR. It's a dice game. Simple and fun!

Wednesday we all spent our fair share of time in the kitchen getting things ready for our Christmas dinner that evening. My brother and sis-in-law joined us around 5 pm for dinner and then presents. Dinner was YUMMO! Turkey, dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes, rolls, corn, broccoli casserole(yuck) and of course all the desserts. We exchanged gifts and Mom & Dad saved the best for last. Their gifts to me, my brother and non brother(who wasn't there..more on that later) was a new tv. A new BIG tv. Big as in our choice of 52 inch or 37 inch! WOOWHOOO! (Totally thought of you La & Ali) We ended up going the next day with Mom and picking out the 37 inch. NO where to fit a 52 inch. And we didn't realize until last night when we got home just how small our tv was. A 19 inch! And guess what? M & I had decided before we left for KY that our gift to each other this Christmas would be a new tv! Hhmmm....now what can we buy? :o) We spent the rest of the night at the kitchen table eating and playing the dice game with Mom, Dad, Bro and S-I-L. We had a great time!

Ok, back to my non brother. I know this may sound mean but he wasn't invited to this Christmas dinner. Mom's having another one closer to Christmas which will include him and my brother minus me and M. M & I have enough stress in our lives and just wasn't up to dealing with him. We kinda thought that maybe we would hear from him in some sort of way while we were there seeing how he lives just 10 minutes from my mom but nope. Not a peep. Worked for me.

M surprised me with this 3 angel necklace during the family gift exchange.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house. I think my brother might have even teared up. Thank you so much M. It's beautiful and I love you!

My bro surprised M and I with this 4 leaf clover the next night.

He called me in the kitchen and gave me this shiny gold box. I opened it and that's what was inside. He got choked up, which he NEVER does and said he picked it himself and if M and I decided to try again to take this with us. (He didn't know about the good luck bag) We both cried. He hugged me tight and said he loved me and that he just wants me to be happy and if M makes me happy then that's all that matters. You got to understand....my brother never shows any sort of emotion so for him to do all this was a really big deal. When we went back to join everyone else in the living room he asked me to show M and tell her. I showed her and asked him to tell her. He did and again there wasn't a dry eye. He even hugged M.

And just when I thought it was safe......Mom & Dad gave us this just before we left.

Hopefully you can click and it will be larger but if not it's 3 angel ornaments for our tree. Yes, of course, you know I cried AGAIN.

Like I said earlier, we are back to work and trying to get back in some sort of routine again. It's hard and it still sucks big time but we are trying. I have a follow up appointment tomorrow with Dr. K. I don't know what to expect but maybe just maybe she will have some answers for us.

I have a couple of medical issues(my snots and a weird lump) that need to be addressed and fixed before we even consider trying again but I think we may give it another shot!

M & I both thank you all again for your thoughts and kind words. It really does mean alot to us!


Gina said...

I am new to this post. I found it through Keri. Just wanted to wish you the best of luck on your journey to motherhood. I am also ttc. I completely understand the rollercoaster of emotions.

Gpawilli said...

Hey Kim and M -

Sounds like you had a wonderful time with your family.

Reading about your bro and the clover leaf made ME tear up....JEEEEEZ.

Thanks for sharing your life and yourselves with us. You are two wonderful ladies.


Melissa said...

sounds like you had the best time away. It sounds like your family is amazing. I love all the presents your family gave you and how each thought of something different in their own special way. Hope you appointment with Dr. K goes well.

http://veeandjay.wordpress.com/ said...

Aww, what a lovely post. It made me cry for real. You are so lucky to have such a loving, supportive family around you (non-brother excepted) and I'm glad the trip helped you heal a little. *sniff*

B said...

It sounds like you guys had a beautiful time with your family. I love how everyone put such thought into the gifts to you - it's obvious your family loves you both very much.

Take care and good luck at your dr's appt.

Keri said...

Wow. This whole post had me in tears. I'm so happy you're both surrounded by such an amazing family. The necklace, the clover, the angel ornaments...they all made me cry for you.
Glad you're coming back around. Still sending you much love.

NotesFrom2Moms said...

yeah! i'm so glad you are back.

Mimi said...

I was worried about you....glad you had a good time...LOVE lcr....we play it all of the time...fun game and you don't have to think about it....we use quarters...when we play with the little one we use cookies....i agree with you you don't need your non brother in your life...the tv is because they feel bad...good hope they feel bad...in the end you guys will be the most happy....good luck to you and YES take the 4 leaft cloaver with you guys.......

Marcy "meg" said...

That was such a lovely trip you guys had... it was a very sweet and heartfelt post about it all.

Thank you so much for your sweet comment on my blog.

Merr said...

Your back! I am happy to see you guys on line again. I have been thinking about you guys.
YAY for Christmas songs, and singing to them for hours! That's what we would do.
A big, new tv! That's awesome. Your parents rock!
About your non-brother, I have a few of those siblings too. sometimes it's better to not engage with them. They obviously have the problem and they need to get over it.
The angel gifts are all just awesome and heart warming. Brought tears to my eyes as well. Your brother is so sweet to think of you guys with that clover.
I sure hope you keep trying. I know it is hard, but don't give up!

Ali said...

I LOVE the angels... all of them, so beautiful and sweet. I am so glad you had a nice time! We missed y'all!

La is going to be so happy for you and jealous of your new tv. Too bad you don't live closer I could send her over to watch it :-)

Ali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ali said...

OOps posted duplicate had to delete one.

Oh and I think you should frame the four leaf clover after it worksd next time.

Hope said...

I am so glad to see you back. I missed you blogging. I love the presents.

lizzie said...

So glad to see your post. Don't want to put pressure on you when you just need to retreat and heal and be with family. But so relieved to see your return to the blog. I/we worry about you, too, and are so glad to know the littlest bit about your lives. You are in my prayers. Merry Christmas, to you and M. And to your wonderful family.

Sara said...

So glad you had a good time with your family. It sounds like you were surrounded by love and support, which is exactly what you need!

Teaberry said...

wonderful post! I'm so glad that you're back online to write. Your Christmas celebration sounds wonderful. Your brother's four leaf clover was so thoughtful!

I'm so happy to hear that you'll give it another shot. We are all rooting for you big time!

Two Mamas said...

Is your family adopting?

How great that you have such an amazing support system.

Glad to hear that you had a great time and welcome back!

treewater said...

It's great when the family pulls together and surprises you with thoughtfulness. ESPECIALLY when they really aren't known for gestures like that :)

Always feel free to ramble! I look forward to reading :)

tbean said...

Welcome back! Those stories about your family are so wonderful. I remember over the summer when your parents did not even know you were TTC...look at them now! So amazing! It cannot take away the pain, but I hope it helps the healing for you.

Liz1971 said...

so glad you two had a great trip to KY! you certainly received some special gifts--so thoughtful and touching! i've been thinking of you! hope everything went well at the drs. :)

K J and the kids said...

Bawling. You have THE SWEETEST family. Every single gift was so thoughtful.
I'm glad that you had the time off you needed and are on your way to healing even more. even talking about another one. your strength exudes you.
I hope that you are able to find answers at your doctors appointment.

Glad you're back.

Jen said...

What a wonderful time it sounds like you had in KY with your family. That kind of support is just what you need! I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what you have gone through. I haven't had much posting time lately and Dawn and I were both so upset to hear your news. She was so excited one night telling me that you all had made it to week 12 (I was even surprised that she had read your blog as I'm usually the one reading all the blogs and then telling her what's going on). So, the next day when I went to catch up on your blog I was stunned at the news and felt just devasted for you both. You are definitely in our thoughts and will continue to be through your next try and success! Stay positive and brave!
I wanted to let you know too that I deleted Diary of a Baby-Wantin' Woman and started a new blog, Mad World. I did go private with it but if you want access to it, please email me at janddaz at hotmail dot com. I understand too if you don't want to hassle with the sign-on but if you do, email me and I'll send you an invite. Take care!

chroniclesofconception.wordpress.com said...


I am so happy to hear you guys may try again in the future. I know it will happen. Don't give up girls.

Sounds like there is A LOT OF LOVE out there for you two!! Wow, no wonder you cried. Your family is very thoughtful, and obviously cherishes you both!

Sounds like the trip was greatly needed and appreciated.

Glad you are back!

Salome said...

I'm glad you're back. Never give up! Miracles happen when you least expect it (like right after you get accepted to law school hee hee!) My miracle is 19 now. Seems like just the other day I felt like I'd never get to be a mom.
Have a great Christmas and thanks for the tip about LCR. I ordered one for us to play when friends come over.