Ok, so I thought that the worst was over and maybe we could start to heal and move on a little bit. I know we'll have our moments and that it's gonna take a lot of time. I'm prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was last night.
And if 1 thing wasn't enough we had 2.
I was getting up off the couch and wham! A sharp pain in my abdomen almost brought me to my knees. I can deal with this. The doc said to expect some cramping and stuff. And lets not forget the sharp pain I have in my left lower back that also almost knocks me off my feet.
But what I can't deal with is that my big sore boobs are now big sore leaking boobs. Talk about NOT fair!! Taking our babies away wasn't enough but now I have to wake up with wet spots on my pjs and sit here at work with pieces of toilet paper in my bra?! How is that fair? Can someone answer that?
Needless to say, we had a sucky night last night and this morning work is the LAST place I want to be.
I feel worthless. I'm fat. I cry all the time. I can't keep a baby alive. I don't want to leave the house. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to be at work. I don't want to see pregnant women. I feel like a freak!
Why do these things happen? I just don't get it! It's just so not fair!
Yes, I'm angry but I have that right don't I?
I just wanna wake up!!