I've got a couple of questions and I'm hoping yall can help me out by sharing your experiences a little bit and/or offering some advice.
The first one has to do with last names. Obviously M and I have different last names. I've been married twice before so I've had my share of names and I'm finally back to my maiden and have no plans on changing it again. Besides the secretary at work said I wasn't allowed any more name changes....too much paperwork for her. ;o) And M is not the name changing kinda gal. So? What last name will our child have? Do we hyphenate out last names? M's last name is pretty unique. Since we aren't legally married and I'm carrying the child the last name will have to be mine right? I don't know. Can we just add M's last name to mine and hyphenate it? Or some people have more than just 1 first, 1 middle and 1 last name right? I mean can we use Abigail/Hunter, Middle Name, M's last name as another middle name and then My last name as the last name? We really want to include both last names somehow. M's last name really needs to be on birth certificate some how. You think the second middle name thing would work? Is it written somewhere that you can only have 3 names?
I know we really need to speak with a lawyer and we will but until then I'd like to hear what yall have done.
We don't really have any laws behind us in VA. There's no second parent adoption. No civil unions. No nothing. So all we have are some papers that we can print off HRC and have notarized but there's no guarantee that'll mean anything if something were to come up and the courts were to be involved. It's not fair. We're a family just like everyone else. Why can't we be treated the same!? ERG!
Ok the second thing has to do with telling your families about the pregnancy. Did your families know you were trying? If not when did you tell them your were pregnant?
We haven't told our parents anything! They know we are a couple but know NOTHING about starting a family. We've told a few close friends and they've been nothing but supportive and we'll tell more when we're a little further along. But how do you tell your families? I know they wont disown us or anything. They would've already done that if they were going to. I think they are going to be concerned for us and the child. I mean in how people will treat and accept/not accept us. I just want them to understand that this child belongs to BOTH of us. We are BOTH the mommies. I don't want M's parents introducing the child as M's roommates kid or my parents trying to come up with a "dad" to tell people. And M has 3 young nieces who are going to wonder and ask questions and I don't think I'll be able to set back and not say something when they ask about Miss Kim and her belly and who the dad is. I know it's not my place, it's their parents, to tell them, to try and explain to them that Miss Kim and Aunt M are BOTH the mommies. I just hate the thoughts of tip-toeing around and not speaking the truth. I've done that my whole life and I refuse to do that again or with our child.
I'm not too concerned about the rest of my family. I think my brother and new sis-in-law will be ok with it and I could care less what my non-brother and his perfect family think.
It's a baby for heavens sakes! Who wouldn't be excited?! I know. There will be people. But come on now. It's a miracle!
Ok, I'm done ranting.
Anyone care to share?
Need a laugh? Might be TMI and M will probably kill me for posting this but I think it's funny.
So everyone knows about sympathy pregnancy pains and how the partner gains weight right along with the pregnant mommy and all that jazz right? Anyone ever hear of sympathy pregnancy missed AF?
M is 2 weeks late! LOL!
She did hold the vial of little swimmers and was awfully close when they went for a swim. ;o)