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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Prayers Please....

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers... As my wife "doesn't sleep" I am posting I guess for myself...

I am Sorry but I am FUCKING angry! Kim keeps apologizing to me for not being able to carry our babies to safety... It is not her fault..SHE MUST understand that.

I LOVE my WIFE, more than Life itself. This just FUCKING SUCKS!

She has never had surgery before in her life and she is TERRIFIED! She is afraid of being on a breathing tube (ET Tube). I being the dummy that I am didn't listen to the Doc. She said she could either be "loopy" or be "out". Does out mean intebated? I am a Firefighter/EMT I should know this...AM I stupid?

I just LOVE my WIFE! I hate that I can't stop the pain......

This Just FUCKING SUCKS.....(sorry for cussin' babes)

M (Not so strong COP, FIREFIGHTER, EMT, FIREMARSHAL)

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

M and Kim -

We are thinking of you and praying for you.

- Your Ohio friends from the cruise

Anonymous said...

NEVER need to apologise for saying what you feel - it does suck - just love her and yourself - you are human and feel what you feel - you are entitled. I am taking it that Kim will undergo a D&C.I am send more prayers. Get some rest the both of you.

Palestar

hotomiky said...

We are thinking and praying for you all....

we are speechless...

We wanted you to know - we care and thinking of you...

Anonymous said...

I've been following your journey since the first pregnancy and I am so very sorry that you have to go through this again. SO very sorry.

laura said...

Hugs to both-
Love each other- that is what will get you through. So many praying for you.

I am here for either and both of you -
Laura

J said...

When I had my D&C I also had a laparoscopy. I was put under. Hers may be different. I konw that they sometimes do local. It was my first surgery and I was nervous about the same things. I expressed my concern to the dr and they took wonderful care of me.
I think the hardest part will be the emotional aspect. Try to remember all of the love and support you have around you right now.
We are all praying for you.

Ali said...

It does suck and I'm so sorry.

She should not have to be "put under" (ie: tubed). They will offer her a narcolep type of anesthesia with is a really heavy sedation without needing to be intubated. Be sure she gets Versed, I'm sure she will, but it doesn't hurt to mention.

I was so scared going into my d&c as well, but honestly it was the best nap I ever had... didn't feel, don't remember a thing. She should be out before they even put her legs in stirrups.

E-mail me or La if you have any questions about this. Our thought and prayers are with you both.

Mimi said...

OMG I don't know what to say.....threw my tears I just want the BOTH of you to know you guys are in my thoughts DAMN.....I don't understand....kisses to the both of you

laura said...

ALways in my hearts- always in my prayers. TTTS sucks.

Laura

Two Mamas said...

Kim and M.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and unfortunately, I've been down the road before.

Please know you are in our thoughts this holiday season.

I'm glad you have each other and your love is strong.
Shawna

Renee and Janice said...

So very sorry for your loss. I know that no words can ever help make it better. Just wanted you ladies to know you were being thought and prayed for.

Meredith said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I feel terrible. We will be thinking of you and sending prayers your way. Please be kind to each other while you deal with the pain and anger. *Hugs* x 1000

Sara said...

Of course this is not her fault! I can understand why she would feel that way, but it is not her fault. So sorry for both of you.

Melissa said...

We'll be thinking of you both today.

Dee said...

I am so sorry! I've been in shock all night since I glanced at your post last night. I'm so sorry. They've got to get it figured out! Is it progesterone? Is it a clotting issue? Make them figure it out!! My love and prayers to you both!

SJayneI said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss; you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

tiff said...

No need to apologize. I am so sick about this for you.

Any way you could email me your mailing address (if you are comfortable with that)?

shortmama910 said...

Kim and M,
I am so sorry, my heart breaks for the two of you. We all love you and are here for you. If you all need to vent, I am here for you, you have my email, and I wish I were there to hug the both of you right now.

M, I know how it is to be frustrated and mad at God, I have been there, and if you need to talk things out with one who understands, know that I am here, for both of you.

love,
tammy

ohchicken said...

sending nothing but love and comfort to both of you.

Chris said...

It's perfectly fine to be angry. God, I was righteously pissed. Still am sometimes. But don't feel bad about your anger.

Kim, this is NOT your fault. We all know this and I know you do too. It's easy to blame yourself but unfortunately this stuff happens. Doesn't make it your fault dear.

You are both so amazing and I hope you pull through this together. I know you will.

*Love and Hugs*

Chris

Mom G said...

Sorrow for my beautiful girls.
Love to you...
holding you close in my heart.
Robin

Bobby said...

So sorry...
I sent you both flickr mail...

Hugs
B

Sparroweye said...

Ok, I had a D & C but not for a miscarriage. And I was intubated.
But I was much older than you two. And I came through it fine at 45.
I think it depends on the person.
My daughter had a miscarriage and after her D & C the doctor said it did not seem like there was enough placenta material. And only four weeks later her test came up positive again for pregnancy. What we think, is that only one of the fetus's was miscarried and somehow miraculously the D&C missed the other one. Stranger things have happened. Just know, that sometime, will be your time. Hang in there.

Carrie said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

-Carrie and Tammy in Indiana.

Kirsten said...

Thinking of you both. I don't have any experience with a D&C but just keep loving and supporting your wife and she will get through this. Just an idea but M, have you ever thought of carrying a baby yourself? Love and prayers for you!!