What a weird point in the TTC journey we are in right now. I never thought we would be looking forward to declining beta numbers but we are. BLAH
Things seem to be going downhill in a good way, I guess you could say. Last Monday our beta was 279. Yesterdays was 19. We're slowly getting there. Nurse W said to have another test next Monday and that should show the negative results we're waiting for.
Waiting on a negative. That just sounds messed up all the way around.
We're looking forward to September so we can be waiting on a positive.
M and I briefly discussed yesterday about whether or not to go natural again this next cycle or try a little something different. What do you all think? We got pregnant, as naturally as 2 women can but for some reason that we will never really know, it didn't last. Since we know that we CAN get pregnant we really don't wanna try a bunch of stuff. What about progesterone? I've just started reading about it and will def talk to the doc but we'll take any input yall have.
Is it September yet?
Welcome To Our Garden
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
M's MeMe
M here....Kim is making me write these things. I think I am pretty hum drum so here goes....
I'm not interesting.....
1-I like to drink Jack Daniels on the rocks with a water chaser. No fruity drinks for me.
2-I like to be outside all the time and work in the hottest part of the day (run, mow the lawn) anything to be outside. This drives Kim nuts!
3-One time while doing surveillance with another officer, looking for a subject wanted in a shooting, while trying to get into position, I ran towards a tree to hide from an approaching vehicle. It turned out the tree was actually a big ass horse who was not appreciative of our company! It gets really dark in the country at night.
4-I like doing hard physical work and can't leave a job half done, once I start a project I need to get it completely done before I stop. This too drives Kim nuts!
I'm not interesting.....
1-I like to drink Jack Daniels on the rocks with a water chaser. No fruity drinks for me.
2-I like to be outside all the time and work in the hottest part of the day (run, mow the lawn) anything to be outside. This drives Kim nuts!
3-One time while doing surveillance with another officer, looking for a subject wanted in a shooting, while trying to get into position, I ran towards a tree to hide from an approaching vehicle. It turned out the tree was actually a big ass horse who was not appreciative of our company! It gets really dark in the country at night.
4-I like doing hard physical work and can't leave a job half done, once I start a project I need to get it completely done before I stop. This too drives Kim nuts!
5-Kim makes fun of me when my country fried twang comes out. (yet she is the one from KY)
6-Stupid people irritate the shit out of me! (I shy away from large crowds because of this)
7-I never sit with my back to the door (always with my back against a wall) where ever we go and have my eye on the door to see who is coming and going (this is the cop in me). I always have two avenues of escape, know my surroundings, and pay attention to who is around, what their hands are doing and if there are any bulges in the waist area (looking for firearms). I am anal like that. (but safe)
8-Kim is the best thing that has EVER happened to me. My life is so much better with her in it and I can't believe I ever made it this long without her!
Ok, so this was 8 things and not 4 but technically Kim did 8. ;o)
Tagged
YIPPEEE!!! We've been tagged by E & M. Everyone knows the rules but here they are again:
Let others know who tagged you. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag 8 other people and tell them they’ve been tagged.
1. I have 3 tattoos, all of which need touch ups but anyhow and have had a few piercings. I have a sun on the back on my neck, rainbow dancing people around my right ankle(my design) and 3 turtles on my lower back(partially my design). My belly button, both nipples and tongue were pierced but have all been out for quiet a while. I have the normal ear piercings along with my tragus. **What can I say? I went thru a phase.**
1a. I'm a huge turtle fan. There's not a room in the house that doesn't have something with a turtle on it. I've had 3 pet turtles(Myrtle, Shelly and Speedy). Ok now it gets weird. When Myrtle kicked the bucket, I froze her(in the freezer...sealed up really good) and took her to my dad on my next trip home. Dad cleaned her all up so that all that was left was the shell. He slapped a coat of varnish on the shell and its now sitting on our bookshelf at home. I know. I'm weird.
1b. I tried my best to keep the tounge piercing from my Dad, knowing he wouldn't like it. But my big mouth is hard to keep shut and he spotted it. His response to seeing it? "Only those lesbian people have thier tounges pierced". Priceless! (and this was WAY before I had any intentions on "coming out")
2. I sleep the best when I'm on my tummy with no pillow and I have to have the right side of the bed.
3. I LOVE Halloween and Christmas! I love decorating the house with witches, pumpkins, spider webs and all that stuff and getting dressed up to pass out candy. LOVE IT! And putting up the tree is just as fun. Well maybe not the putting up part but the looking at it once it's done part. ;o) M's mom downsized her Christmas tree last year so we got her HUGE one. LOVE IT! And I love to wrap presents. When I lived at home, mom would put my presents in boxes and tape them up real good and let me wrap them.
4. I'm a Diet Pepsi-aholic. I have to have at least one a day....a 20 oz. Diet Coke just doesn't do it for me. I was suffering Pepsi withdrawls the entire cruise...they only served Coke products. UGH! I spent $2 for a can of Pepsi at the pier when we returned!
4a. I don't like beer. I'm a fruity drink chick.(rum runner or bahama momma type stuff). Well I was, I can't remember the last time I had a drink. I was hooked on Smirnoff Ice for a while but just thinking of them now makes me wanna hurl. If I had to pick a favorite drink it would be a Kahlua and anything. LOL Kahlua and cream. White Russian. Black Russian. Whatever. Kahula just tastes good. :o)
4b. I don't like coffee but love the smell and most anything with a coffee taste...except an actual cup of coffee.
I'll leave the other 4 in hopes that M will have something to add this evening, if not, you'll just have to hear more about me. ;o)
I think we were the last ones in blogland to be tagged so we have no one to tag. If there's anyone out there who hasn't.....TAG, You're it!
Let others know who tagged you. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag 8 other people and tell them they’ve been tagged.
1. I have 3 tattoos, all of which need touch ups but anyhow and have had a few piercings. I have a sun on the back on my neck, rainbow dancing people around my right ankle(my design) and 3 turtles on my lower back(partially my design). My belly button, both nipples and tongue were pierced but have all been out for quiet a while. I have the normal ear piercings along with my tragus. **What can I say? I went thru a phase.**
1a. I'm a huge turtle fan. There's not a room in the house that doesn't have something with a turtle on it. I've had 3 pet turtles(Myrtle, Shelly and Speedy). Ok now it gets weird. When Myrtle kicked the bucket, I froze her(in the freezer...sealed up really good) and took her to my dad on my next trip home. Dad cleaned her all up so that all that was left was the shell. He slapped a coat of varnish on the shell and its now sitting on our bookshelf at home. I know. I'm weird.
1b. I tried my best to keep the tounge piercing from my Dad, knowing he wouldn't like it. But my big mouth is hard to keep shut and he spotted it. His response to seeing it? "Only those lesbian people have thier tounges pierced". Priceless! (and this was WAY before I had any intentions on "coming out")
2. I sleep the best when I'm on my tummy with no pillow and I have to have the right side of the bed.
3. I LOVE Halloween and Christmas! I love decorating the house with witches, pumpkins, spider webs and all that stuff and getting dressed up to pass out candy. LOVE IT! And putting up the tree is just as fun. Well maybe not the putting up part but the looking at it once it's done part. ;o) M's mom downsized her Christmas tree last year so we got her HUGE one. LOVE IT! And I love to wrap presents. When I lived at home, mom would put my presents in boxes and tape them up real good and let me wrap them.
4. I'm a Diet Pepsi-aholic. I have to have at least one a day....a 20 oz. Diet Coke just doesn't do it for me. I was suffering Pepsi withdrawls the entire cruise...they only served Coke products. UGH! I spent $2 for a can of Pepsi at the pier when we returned!
4a. I don't like beer. I'm a fruity drink chick.(rum runner or bahama momma type stuff). Well I was, I can't remember the last time I had a drink. I was hooked on Smirnoff Ice for a while but just thinking of them now makes me wanna hurl. If I had to pick a favorite drink it would be a Kahlua and anything. LOL Kahlua and cream. White Russian. Black Russian. Whatever. Kahula just tastes good. :o)
4b. I don't like coffee but love the smell and most anything with a coffee taste...except an actual cup of coffee.
I'll leave the other 4 in hopes that M will have something to add this evening, if not, you'll just have to hear more about me. ;o)
I think we were the last ones in blogland to be tagged so we have no one to tag. If there's anyone out there who hasn't.....TAG, You're it!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Routine
I'm back to work today(after 18 days). I'm trying to get back into my routine.
Alot has happened since my last post Friday afternoon. Let me try to recap.
M and I decided that maybe getting out of the house and seeing a movie might do us some good. Well it DID! But first let me tell you what I had to do in order to prepare for such an outing. Since Mother Nature hadn't got off her butt yet I had to be prepared for anything. So I packed my little gay backpack that we got for free on the cruise with a change of undies, xtra pair of jean capris, a washcloth and a handful of pads and of course some whoppers and sugar babies for the movies. I wanted to be prepared for the worst. I started to bleed and cramp about an hour before we left but we were going on this movie date....we just had to. We used our free movie passes that we've had since our birthdays last year and headed in to see I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry(the FUNNIEST damn movie ever!) I made a few bathroom runs during the previews and prayed that I could make it thru the movie without having to leave. I managed to make it thru and we had the best time ever! I can't remember the last time we laughed so much. It was just what we needed. Laughter truly is the best medicine. O my word it was funny!! You've gotta see it! We laughed the entire way back to the house and for that short period of time everything was normal again...until we got home and ready for bed. Normal was then flushed with what we had been dreading and hoping for all at the same time. Mother Nature was finally on the job. Friday night never seemed to end. Saturday seems like a million years ago...I can't even remember what happened that day. Sunday was a lazy day. We slept most of the day away. Got up long enough to eat cereal and headed back to bed until around 2pm. It felt so good to finally sleep. We finally got up and decided to make something of the day. And what did we do you ask? We went to the movies again! It worked so well Friday night we thought why not try it again. This time we saw Evan Almighty. Again with free movie passes. :o) It did the trick. Funny but not near as funny as Chuck & Larry. Yesterday was doctor day. Let me just say the trip there and back was unlike any other. We were in NO hurry to get there and instead of being super early and waiting in the lobby like we normal had....we waited in the parking garage til the last possible minute. We talked with the nurse and doc and they were both happy to hear that Mother Nature had done her thing over the weekend and that a D&C would NOT be needed. Thank the Lord!! The doc confirmed with an ultrasound that all was ok and advised us that I would have to have beta tests done weekly until the numbers were negative. Yesterdays number were 279. The doc couldn't give us any reasons to why this happened to us other than it happens. Possibly something chromosomal? It's natural. They see it often. Well to me it's NOT natural. I NEVER want to see it again. And wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
With all that being said....
We're gonna give ourselves some time to heal and hopefully try again in September or October. We wanna be mommies...so mommies we WILL be! And like M pointed out to to me last night.....I've always said I wanted to be 33 when I gave birth(my mom, grandma and great grandma were all 33) and I would have only been 32 in Feb. :o)
Thanks again to all of you. You are TRULY part of our family.
Alot has happened since my last post Friday afternoon. Let me try to recap.
M and I decided that maybe getting out of the house and seeing a movie might do us some good. Well it DID! But first let me tell you what I had to do in order to prepare for such an outing. Since Mother Nature hadn't got off her butt yet I had to be prepared for anything. So I packed my little gay backpack that we got for free on the cruise with a change of undies, xtra pair of jean capris, a washcloth and a handful of pads and of course some whoppers and sugar babies for the movies. I wanted to be prepared for the worst. I started to bleed and cramp about an hour before we left but we were going on this movie date....we just had to. We used our free movie passes that we've had since our birthdays last year and headed in to see I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry(the FUNNIEST damn movie ever!) I made a few bathroom runs during the previews and prayed that I could make it thru the movie without having to leave. I managed to make it thru and we had the best time ever! I can't remember the last time we laughed so much. It was just what we needed. Laughter truly is the best medicine. O my word it was funny!! You've gotta see it! We laughed the entire way back to the house and for that short period of time everything was normal again...until we got home and ready for bed. Normal was then flushed with what we had been dreading and hoping for all at the same time. Mother Nature was finally on the job. Friday night never seemed to end. Saturday seems like a million years ago...I can't even remember what happened that day. Sunday was a lazy day. We slept most of the day away. Got up long enough to eat cereal and headed back to bed until around 2pm. It felt so good to finally sleep. We finally got up and decided to make something of the day. And what did we do you ask? We went to the movies again! It worked so well Friday night we thought why not try it again. This time we saw Evan Almighty. Again with free movie passes. :o) It did the trick. Funny but not near as funny as Chuck & Larry. Yesterday was doctor day. Let me just say the trip there and back was unlike any other. We were in NO hurry to get there and instead of being super early and waiting in the lobby like we normal had....we waited in the parking garage til the last possible minute. We talked with the nurse and doc and they were both happy to hear that Mother Nature had done her thing over the weekend and that a D&C would NOT be needed. Thank the Lord!! The doc confirmed with an ultrasound that all was ok and advised us that I would have to have beta tests done weekly until the numbers were negative. Yesterdays number were 279. The doc couldn't give us any reasons to why this happened to us other than it happens. Possibly something chromosomal? It's natural. They see it often. Well to me it's NOT natural. I NEVER want to see it again. And wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
With all that being said....
We're gonna give ourselves some time to heal and hopefully try again in September or October. We wanna be mommies...so mommies we WILL be! And like M pointed out to to me last night.....I've always said I wanted to be 33 when I gave birth(my mom, grandma and great grandma were all 33) and I would have only been 32 in Feb. :o)
Thanks again to all of you. You are TRULY part of our family.
Friday, July 20, 2007
No words
There are no words to describe the loss that M and I have suffered. No words to describe how empty we feel. No words to describe how much we wanted this child. No words to describe the hurt and anger we feel or the guilt that I feel.
I have so much I want to say but I can't find the words.
I do want to say thank you. Thanks to all of you for the kind words and well wishes.
Maybe if Mother Nature would stop being so cruel and do what she has to do, we can begin to move on and try to heal. I've taken 2 doses of meds (8 pills) to speed up the process and nothings happened. I've only bled a tiny bit. I spoke with the doc today and he said to wait and see (I'm tired of waiting!) what the weekend brings and to come in Monday for them to check with an ultrasound. It's looking like I might have to have a D&C after all.
On a brighter note, if there can be one in a time like this. GOD has the most beautiful Flower in his garden now.
I have so much I want to say but I can't find the words.
I do want to say thank you. Thanks to all of you for the kind words and well wishes.
Maybe if Mother Nature would stop being so cruel and do what she has to do, we can begin to move on and try to heal. I've taken 2 doses of meds (8 pills) to speed up the process and nothings happened. I've only bled a tiny bit. I spoke with the doc today and he said to wait and see (I'm tired of waiting!) what the weekend brings and to come in Monday for them to check with an ultrasound. It's looking like I might have to have a D&C after all.
On a brighter note, if there can be one in a time like this. GOD has the most beautiful Flower in his garden now.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
This is M....
This ain't no G rated blog anymore....Fuck! I'm fucking pissed! I'm angry! I'm sad! After the incredible HIGH of our vacation to come home and get this news just doesn't seem fair. Now we are the lowest point in our lives. It just doesn't seem fair. Logically I know these things happen but why to Kim, why to us.
Thank you in advance for all your comments and prayers. We will be silent for a while. No more blog land, not now, not for a while. We wish you all the best in your continued quests to mommyhood, for us, it just ain't meant to be I guess. We do not know if we will try again. A lot of healing to do.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! (sorry for cussing babe)
M
Thank you in advance for all your comments and prayers. We will be silent for a while. No more blog land, not now, not for a while. We wish you all the best in your continued quests to mommyhood, for us, it just ain't meant to be I guess. We do not know if we will try again. A lot of healing to do.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! (sorry for cussing babe)
M
Monday, July 16, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Back to reality
Ok, so the R Family cruise was the MOST amazing thing we have ever been a part of. Like Hollie and Tonya said....it's hard to find just the right words to describe it. It may take me a few days to get all my thoughts together but let me just say this. We met some of the most amazing families on this trip. I think I have only 2 regrets. 1-not spending more times with those we met and 2-having to leave. It was simply the best trip ever!
I'll give yall lots of details and pics later but let me leave you with this:
Friends to last a lifetime!
And let us not forget the other families we met(but regrettably didn't get pics with). Michelle, Dawn, David and Ryan...you guys rock! Carmel, Judy and John from NC(who I hope finds this blog). And 2 other couples who made us feel like celebrities by saying they recognized us from the blog! How cool! We're famous! Dee, Malia and Jenna from Maui(We've got friends in Maui now!! ALOHA!) Tara and Erin who are also from VA that we chatted with on the cruise forum. And please forgive me....I can't remember the Ohio chicks/lawyer couple names who were a few doors down from us(you know who you are....send me an email or leave a comment on here so we can keep in touch) They are going for lucky try number 1 next month! Plus our Delaware friends who's family lives in Williamsburg....small world.
I'll give yall lots of details and pics later but let me leave you with this:
Friends to last a lifetime!
And let us not forget the other families we met(but regrettably didn't get pics with). Michelle, Dawn, David and Ryan...you guys rock! Carmel, Judy and John from NC(who I hope finds this blog). And 2 other couples who made us feel like celebrities by saying they recognized us from the blog! How cool! We're famous! Dee, Malia and Jenna from Maui(We've got friends in Maui now!! ALOHA!) Tara and Erin who are also from VA that we chatted with on the cruise forum. And please forgive me....I can't remember the Ohio chicks/lawyer couple names who were a few doors down from us(you know who you are....send me an email or leave a comment on here so we can keep in touch) They are going for lucky try number 1 next month! Plus our Delaware friends who's family lives in Williamsburg....small world.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
H-E-A-R-T-B-E-A-T
is how we spell relief!
I got to see the heartbeat! How exciting! I cried. Duh! M wasn't able to make this visit but will def be there on July 16 for the next one. The doc said everything looked perfect. Pictured is the flower and yolk sac. The doc pointed out that the big black blob taking up the lower right is a fibroid. Said it was nothing at all to be concerned with. Said it was a like a "skin tag". I had her repeat several times that it was nothing to be concerned with. She also told me the egg came from my left ovary and showed a pic of that and I forgot what she called it but it was big....the way it was supposed to be and the right ovary was small the way it was supposed to be as well. So thankfully.....all is well.
Go ahead...say it...."I told you so"!
*Scanning the pic just didn't work, so I hope you can make out this pic. I had to take a pic of the pic. ERG!
Ok with that huge weight lifted off our shoulders.....we are ready for vacation. Bags are packed..minus our pjs, hair stuff and pillows and we'll add those in the morning.
Thanks for all your thoughts, we'll miss you and think of yall while we're gone!
BON VOYAGE!!
I got to see the heartbeat! How exciting! I cried. Duh! M wasn't able to make this visit but will def be there on July 16 for the next one. The doc said everything looked perfect. Pictured is the flower and yolk sac. The doc pointed out that the big black blob taking up the lower right is a fibroid. Said it was nothing at all to be concerned with. Said it was a like a "skin tag". I had her repeat several times that it was nothing to be concerned with. She also told me the egg came from my left ovary and showed a pic of that and I forgot what she called it but it was big....the way it was supposed to be and the right ovary was small the way it was supposed to be as well. So thankfully.....all is well.
Go ahead...say it...."I told you so"!
*Scanning the pic just didn't work, so I hope you can make out this pic. I had to take a pic of the pic. ERG!
Ok with that huge weight lifted off our shoulders.....we are ready for vacation. Bags are packed..minus our pjs, hair stuff and pillows and we'll add those in the morning.
Thanks for all your thoughts, we'll miss you and think of yall while we're gone!
BON VOYAGE!!
Appt has been made
We've got an ultrasound scheduled for today at 3 pm. Not sure if M will be able to make it. It's her last day of work before vacation plus she's on call. There's always next time. But we're still hoping she can squeeze it in.
I'm doing much better this morning. Had no issues last night or this morning so far. I guess, I hope, I just over reacted. Guess we'll find out at 3.
And of course I'll post a pic if possible.
****
We're going on vacation tomorrow!!! WOOP! WOOP! We fly outta Richmond at 1030 am and should arrive in NYC around noon. We'll be NYC tourists for the evening and catch a ride on the big r Family boat with Rosie and crew Saturday afternoon. We're very much looking forward to meeting and hanging out with Hollie, Tonya, Mikaela and Kyron plus Michelle, Dawn, David and Ryan while on board.
We'll be thinking about yall! ;o)
****
I'll post more this afternoon after the docs visit.
I'm doing much better this morning. Had no issues last night or this morning so far. I guess, I hope, I just over reacted. Guess we'll find out at 3.
And of course I'll post a pic if possible.
****
We're going on vacation tomorrow!!! WOOP! WOOP! We fly outta Richmond at 1030 am and should arrive in NYC around noon. We'll be NYC tourists for the evening and catch a ride on the big r Family boat with Rosie and crew Saturday afternoon. We're very much looking forward to meeting and hanging out with Hollie, Tonya, Mikaela and Kyron plus Michelle, Dawn, David and Ryan while on board.
We'll be thinking about yall! ;o)
****
I'll post more this afternoon after the docs visit.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Not so scared now
well maybe just a little bit but MUCH better than earlier. Thank you all for you info. Special thanks to you, M and Dr KJ, for suggesting the answering service. I had called there this morning in my moment of panic and when the answering service answered, I hung up. So I took your advice and called them a while ago. I didn't hang up this time. A very nice lady answered and took my info....said she would page the Dr ASAP and if I didn't hear back in 15 mins to call her again. My phone rang about 3 mins later. The on call dr, my doc is on vacation, was very nice. Asked all sorts of questions and said it was very common and for me to take it easy today and for some peace of mind to call in the morning to schedule an ultra sound. I told him about the cruise and he again said to call in the morning. So I will be on the phone in the morning at 0830 and will go in sometime tomorrow to make sure all is ok with the flower.
I'm feeling better already. And the 2.5 hour nap that M and I took when I got home plus the 2 burnt hot dogs I just had helped out too. ;o)
Now I'm off, slowly and carefully, to get my pedicure. Gotta have cute toes for the cruise!
Thanks again! You guys are the best!!
I'm feeling better already. And the 2.5 hour nap that M and I took when I got home plus the 2 burnt hot dogs I just had helped out too. ;o)
Now I'm off, slowly and carefully, to get my pedicure. Gotta have cute toes for the cruise!
Thanks again! You guys are the best!!
Still a lil scared
Ok, so it's almost time for me to go home. M and I were going to go straight to the ER but I think we've decided to hold off. So far today I've only had the one incident. I'll call my doc in the morning and see what he has to say and if anything else happens between now and then, I'll head to the ER.
I'm trying to stay positive but this is really scary to me. Lord, I hope I'm over reacting!
I'll post updates when I know more.
I'm heading home soon and going to bed. I know what fireworks looks like so maybe I'll just sleep thru them tonight. ;o)
Remember to keep poor lil stressed out Kim in your thoughts. :o)
I'm trying to stay positive but this is really scary to me. Lord, I hope I'm over reacting!
I'll post updates when I know more.
I'm heading home soon and going to bed. I know what fireworks looks like so maybe I'll just sleep thru them tonight. ;o)
Remember to keep poor lil stressed out Kim in your thoughts. :o)
I'm scared
I don't even know if I should write this or not. But I feel getting it out of my system might make me feel better. Well probably not. I really just wanna hear some reassurance from yall.
Ok, everyday since May 30, the day we had our IUI, I've been checking the tissue after using the restroom. For a few days I wanted to see a little something....I wanted to see implantation bleeding. Then I checked because I didn't want to see anything...didn't wanna see AF. Ok, so I still check. I guess I will for the next 8 months. Well, late yesterday evening I saw a little pink in my undies. Just a little but it was enough to be seen and totally freak me out. There was nothing on the tissue.
I was off yesterday and did a little around the house. Nothing major and didn't do any lifting or anything. I helped M mow yesterday evening but that was on the riding mower. I had a little cramping, if you could even call it cramping, off and on all day, but it wasn't anything I thought I should worry about. It wasn't bad at all but enough to tell that something was going on in there.
Am I over reacting?
Please tell me I'm ok.
Needless to say I didn't sleep much last night and I can barely keep myself together at work now as I type this. I've cried so much I feel like I'm going to throw up (or is that morning sickness?). My eyes are swollen and I can't get the bad thoughts outta my head.
We're leaving in 2 days for our vacation. I should be happy and excited but I'm so scared I can barely function.
* 0930 hrs---just went to the restroom and there was about an inch long brown mucus looking thing on the tissue. I don't mean to be gross. I just want to know what yall think. I'm really not liking this.
Ok, everyday since May 30, the day we had our IUI, I've been checking the tissue after using the restroom. For a few days I wanted to see a little something....I wanted to see implantation bleeding. Then I checked because I didn't want to see anything...didn't wanna see AF. Ok, so I still check. I guess I will for the next 8 months. Well, late yesterday evening I saw a little pink in my undies. Just a little but it was enough to be seen and totally freak me out. There was nothing on the tissue.
I was off yesterday and did a little around the house. Nothing major and didn't do any lifting or anything. I helped M mow yesterday evening but that was on the riding mower. I had a little cramping, if you could even call it cramping, off and on all day, but it wasn't anything I thought I should worry about. It wasn't bad at all but enough to tell that something was going on in there.
Am I over reacting?
Please tell me I'm ok.
Needless to say I didn't sleep much last night and I can barely keep myself together at work now as I type this. I've cried so much I feel like I'm going to throw up (or is that morning sickness?). My eyes are swollen and I can't get the bad thoughts outta my head.
We're leaving in 2 days for our vacation. I should be happy and excited but I'm so scared I can barely function.
* 0930 hrs---just went to the restroom and there was about an inch long brown mucus looking thing on the tissue. I don't mean to be gross. I just want to know what yall think. I'm really not liking this.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Room Pics
Ok, here are the long awaited pics of the rooms. Like I said before, keep in mind, we're trying to spiffy up an old house on public safety salaries. Don't expect anything too dramatic. Just a fresh coat of paint and some rearranging.
Another corner shot BEFORE and AFTER (see the FREE crib?! M surprised me yesterday by putting it together(all by herself) while I was at work)
Looking in.
We did it! We told M's mom last night about the flower. We invited her over to check out the newly painted rooms. Showed her ours first and then gave her a little warning that the next room might be a little shocking. We opened the door and said "SURPRISE"! She looked a little shocked but it went over very well. No drama. Thankfully! We all talked for about an hour and that was that. Whew! That's over. Now I just gotta tell my folks and we'll be all set!
Here's 1 corner BEFORE and AFTER
A door shot BEFORE and AFTER
Another corner shot BEFORE and AFTER (see the FREE crib?! M surprised me yesterday by putting it together(all by herself) while I was at work)
Here's a couple other angles.
Looking in.
I didn't get any before pics of our room but the walls and stuff looked like above before pics only with black curtains and a dark comforter. Much different now. (And yeah I know, the blue comforter doesn't exactly match the green walls.....we're working on that :o) )
We did it! We told M's mom last night about the flower. We invited her over to check out the newly painted rooms. Showed her ours first and then gave her a little warning that the next room might be a little shocking. We opened the door and said "SURPRISE"! She looked a little shocked but it went over very well. No drama. Thankfully! We all talked for about an hour and that was that. Whew! That's over. Now I just gotta tell my folks and we'll be all set!
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